


you should know

by machibouke



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Drabble, Friendship/Love, M/M, Secret Relationship, Staring, why am i so bad with tagging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 05:33:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7605625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/machibouke/pseuds/machibouke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Nino ponders about relationships and a <em>"necessary"</em> distance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you should know

Apparently, Nino stares a lot.

Some people have often cited this right to his face and then gone on to tell him that it’s downright creepy and unnecessary. It’s a terrible habit, he’ll grant that, but he begs to differ about the latter opinion.

It’s innocuous. It helps greatly when he’s trying to puzzle out someone he’s just met (because there’s always a need to in this business), or when he’s assimilating the space between two normally platonic people when they’re seated next to each other (sometimes too close for comfort, Nino notes, and really wonders just how close they are both physically and emotionally).

And, although he tries not to make it a regular thing at work for obvious reasons, he finds his gaze being torn away from something to Jun quite a lot. Because they’re always _together_ as five, and Jun is…well, because Jun is _Jun_. It’s kind of a given and can’t be helped. Looking at Jun for periods of time is all he _can_ do, since Jun had set a strict policy that applied to him as well as the others when it came to existing in the public eye: _zero proximity_. He adapted it early on before any of them had a clue about his dislike of intimate touching and only temporarily lifted the injunction for concerts and tours. There he went wild without care, where Nino consequently indulged.

Aiba used to joke ages back that Jun had a severe case of haphephobia, leaving the others wondering how he knew of such an obscure term and often earning a smack on the head from more than one person for the needless observation (although it wasn’t ever too far from the truth). Sometimes, if Jun was feeling in a generous mood during their free time, he’d let certain people in, but that green light was not to be taken lightly. Aiba manages to wheedle a pass out of him every now and then, sharing tour bus seats and sometimes persuading Jun enough to go out and enjoy a baseball game with him. Ohno has been told fervently by Jun that touching of any kind is off-limits in private, but when they’ve both had a few, anything is on the table, whether Jun approves of it or not (Ohno will most likely cop a few feels off him if he is lucky).

And as for Sho – well, over seventeen years of being together and Nino is still in the dark about the extent or brevity of Jun and Sho’s relationship. If there even _is_ a relationship. Maybe Sho was one of those who misinterpreted Jun’s advances and got too close too quickly? Nino has asked on multiple occasions, even gone as far to tease Jun about the obvious crush he had on Sho in their beginning years, but Jun either never says a thing in response or tells him off. It’s all part of the compelling ambiguity that is ultimately a part of Matsumoto Jun’s charm, Nino decides – and despite getting no answers to his questions, he really, really likes that part of Jun. The part that never tells a soul about certain little things (but sometimes Nino finds out those little things anyway because Jun eventually gives in at the last moment).

It keeps things interesting. It’s one of the many aspects of Jun that eventually yanked him in. That way, he feels like they have an unspoken deal between them – _I can tell you this, you can tell me that, let’s keep it between us, and nobody will ever know._

But as Nino stares at Jun now, registers the physical gap between them, he doubts the credibility of this so-called deal. Even though it was never verbally agreed on, Nino really thinks it’s all just in his head now. After all, they are the same age, and Jun likes to play on that sometimes and make things hard. Jun is not afraid of giving space and likes having it himself. Just how much does Nino know about the other man in reality? Being such a natural actor and used to the whole repression of revealing too much of his real persona, Jun has not divulged much over the years emotion-wise. And while he kept blatantly open with some things, he was cagey about other things. Nino knows only of food preferences, an obsession with high-tops, Jun’s ever-present desire for animals to love him back just as much as he loves them, and his newfound fixation with hats.

While stealing one small glance at Jun’s face and ambling over slowly, he sees the warning flicker in the eyes that follow him. Nino duly reminds himself of the rule and stutters in his steps, hastily turning and wandering over to Sho by the cameras. He gets lost in conversation about food texture, but his eyes stay fixed on Jun’s folded hands, focuses on the ridges of his palms: his favourite safe zone.

 

* * *

 

Hours later, an address pops up in his phone inbox, followed by the conspicuous letter _J_. The number is blocked – probably a disposable phone (Jun is meticulous with communications and hyperaware of the frightening progress of phone hacking and surveillance).

Nino flags down a taxi and asks the driver where the address leads to. Because typing a few words into a search engine was too much, apparently. Nino feels like slapping himself for not thinking properly. Jun would probably – no, most definitely – hit him too. The less attention you drew to yourself, the better, after all. Another one of Jun’s golden rules.

“Roppongi, The _Ritz-Carlton_ ,” the driver informs, his face unmoving and disinterested. “Really pricey hotel. Are you headed there?”

Nino pulls his scarf up a little more and nods, sliding across the back seat. He fiddles around with the lock button on his phone, a bundle of nerves and elation.

So they might not have the most conventional relationship – but that makes it fun. For all the times Nino can never go near Jun during the day, the occasional nights are always more than enough to make up for their self-imposed distance.

 

**Author's Note:**

> "haephephobia" is an extreme fear of being touched.


End file.
